Journal 6

Prompt 3:

If only you had noticed me
the way I noticed you.
If only you had seen the way my eyes would smile
every time they saw you.
If only you had heard the way my laughter would triple at
every horrible joke.
If only you had seen me as more than
just your friend.

If only you had noticed me
instead of her.
If only you had seen the shattered heart behind my forced smile
whenever you would talk about your girlfriend.
If only you had heard my jealous huffs whenever you ditched
game nights to go meet her.
If only you had seen the distance I placed
between us before it was too late.

If only you had noticed me
leaving you behind.
If only you had seen how hard it
was for me.
If only you had heard the nights that I
stayed up and cried.
If only you had seen the look on my face
when I finally said goodbye.

If only you had noticed me
before I met him.
If only you had seen the way my eyes
smiled for you.
If only you had heard how hard I’d laugh
at every joke.
If only you had seen me then
as more than just your friend.

Journal 5

Here is a doll made from pieces.
I stitched him up.
I can’t help but notice his inseam sneak
up to his chin, silky hair as dark as well water,  a cleft in your chin instead of your foot, wearing the perfect clothes:
the ashy grey of death.
He turns out to be you-or nearly.
It’s true my friend died in September. Where he has gone is a mystery.
But once you lose someone it is never exactly the same person
who comes back.

(William Dickey, Carol Ann Duffy,  Jan Richman, Brigit Peegen Kelly, Sylvia Plath,  Laurie Duesing, Sharon Olds, Jane Cooper, T.R. Hummer, Paul Muldoon, Sharon Olds.)

Journal 4

The cows stand under the trees in the wet grass,
lifting their necks to pull leaves down. We slow the truck, pull over to the side of the road to watch them. How
graceful they look, how
unlike themselves. We get out
and lean on the fence.
The cows don’t seem to notice
we are there.

I broke it up where the speaker takes in/notices/thinks something new about the scene in front of her. To me, it imitates how a person would (or should) take in a nature scene; very slowly taking notice of their surroundings, slower thoughts, and overall slowly admiring the beauty in front of them.

Journal 3

The Walk Home (version 1)
The icy wind whipped through the street
like an el train.
My sister and I huddle closer
as we trudge further into the deserted city.

She claims that Union is near,
that this is just a way she has never taken before.
Though the uncertainty in her every step
makes it seem like she was a confused tourist.

Union pokes into our view,
cutting through the night like a skyscraper.
Only a walkway as dark as the pavement stands between us
and our ride back to campus.

We scurry down the sidewalk
like the rats in the gutter beneath us.
We spot two figures closely huddled by our gateway to safety,
their shadows like graffiti on the wall.

One of the figures suggests that we stay
and party with them.
Our faces turn as green as the Chicago river
on St. Patrick’s Day.

We dart past the figures,
their chuckles echoing like the horn of
our incoming train.
We were safe.

For now.

The Walk Home (version 2)

The icy wind whipped through the street
like a swift current.
My sister and I huddle closer
as we trudge further into the deserted city.

She claims that Union is near,
that this is just a way she has never taken before.
Though the uncertainty in her every step
makes it seem like she was a lost child searching for her mother.

Union pokes into our view,
cutting through the night like a lighthouse.
Only a walkway as dark as a deep-ocean trench stands between us
and our ride back to campus.

We scurry down the sidewalk
like a hamster from a handsy child.
We spot two figures closely huddled by our gateway to safety,
their shadows like ash on the wall.

One of the figures suggests that we stay
and party with them.
Our faces turn as green as Bruce Banners does
when someone has made him angry.

We dart past the figures,
their chuckles echoing like the leftover ringing in ones ears
after going to a concert.
We were safe.

For now.

Journal 2

  1. Ball Circle,
  2. The rattling of the chain-link fence ceases,
  3. As my boot catches the iron, condemning me into the brick
  4. All because “The expression ne…que is restrictive rather than negative.”
  5. My cheeks now as red as the ground,
  6. Bones aching as I rise carefully,
  7. Who knew this day could get any worse?
  8. Hashtag My Mary Wash.
  9. I would very much appreciate it if
  10. No human would ever see me fall again.
  11. Just the stray squirrels scattering about,
  12. Dragging rotting bits of dragon fruit behind them.
  13. This day is definitely not lit.
  14. *insert eye roll here*
  15. Eventually I’ll fall again, every living person will see it.
  16. Ugh, how am I going to get up to the cafeteria in this condition?
  17. If only I had a wheelbarrow…
  18. Mom and dad would be sooo proud of me.
  19. A firey pain shoots through my legs with every step but
  20. I cannot stop hobbling up now,
  21. Even though the throbbing sensation in my knees is only getting worse.
  22. Bagel, elevator, door.
  23. At least I’m not 2007 Britney.
  24. The rattling iron mocks me once more.
  25. Walk around Ball, just for now.

 

 

 

Journal 1

Tastes:
– Wasabi, buttercream, vanilla, caramel, black coffee, spinach, kettle corn, toasted marshmallows,  lemons, cinnamon, copper, strawberry, brie, old bay, garlic.
Touch:
– Gravel, velvet, vibrate, pulse, squishy, furry, papery, slimy, stone, blubber, damp, matted, plastic, jagged, feathery.
Smell:
– Lemongrass, petrichor, rose, manure, saltwater, gasoline, smoke, coffee, rot, an old book, eucalyptus, pumpkin, pecan pie, peppermint, musk.
Hearing:
– Cellophane, stomping, roar, gun shot, whistle, giggle, gargle, symphony, hum, chirp,  screech, growl, mumble, thunder, jingle.
Sight:
– Skyscraper, cherry blossom, starlight, glisten, cloud, asphalt, glitter, glassy, grey sky, wave, raven, bubble, blood, willow, fire.
Action/Motion:
-Speeding, fall, waltz, kick, tumble, rise, fly, leap, spin, skip.
Abstractions:
– Confusion, fear, joy.
Anything Else:
– Naperville, Max, road show, Badlands, Angel, journal, heart.

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